and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
