i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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