your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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