nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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