I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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