Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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