im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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