Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
