I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
