Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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