he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
