I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
