i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
