This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
