im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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