I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Mom said you looked used
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
