Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
