there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
