Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
