It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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