if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
