end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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