I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
