Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
