So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
