His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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