i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize