hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
