literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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