do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
