Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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