You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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