It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
