i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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