I hate your face
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize