3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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