I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
