I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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