does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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