So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
