the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
