Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
