I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
