just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
