Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
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how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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