needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You are a genius and a whore.
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