Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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