its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
tell me about the eggs
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