I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
