long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
