dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
