Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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