look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
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Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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