you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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