Cold hands, warm shart.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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