I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
