she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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