If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
