i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
