i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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