Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
