I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
