I cannot find my penis.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
