Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
